These last two days have been hard. Not physically but spiritually. God gave me a chance to go hang out with the friends I once had, and go back to the life I once had. And I knew as soon as I walked in, it wasn't where I wanted to be. I wanted to be at PUSH (pray until something happens). We started at 8:30 and went to midnight, we could've kept going for an entire week. No one wanted to leave this room, filled with such love, joy, sacrifice, prayer, sadness, glory, righteousness. I started in my chair and God spoke to my heart, telling me that because I was in my chair I was bound, I needed to get out of it. I transferred into one of the chairs, and then the floor. At one point I was praying so hard for a friend of mine I began to weep. I could feel His disappointment, I could feel him trying to help, but he couldn't because of the doubt in their heart. Which I completely understand because I doubted God could heal me in the beginning, but now I know that he will. He healed my depression, my anxiety, muscle spasms. And has given me so many blessings for being obedient. I've had Psalm 3 on my heart since yesterday, it's really pulled me through spiritually these last two days. Putting my headphones in and reading this over and over, in my head and out loud.
A David Psalm, When He Escaped for His Life from Absalom, His Son
1 God! Look! Enemies past counting! Enemies sprouting like mushrooms,2 Mobs of them all around me, roaring their mockery: "Hah! No help for him from God!"
3 But you, God, shield me on all sides; You ground my feet, you lift my head high;4 With all my might I shout up to God, His answers thunder from the holy mountain.
5 I stretch myself out. I sleep. Then I'm up again-rested, tall and steady,6 Fearless before the enemy mobs Coming at me from all sides.
7 Up, God! My God, help me! Slap their faces, First this cheek, then the other, Your fist hard in their teeth!
8 Real help comes from God. Your blessing clothes your people!
"Up, God! My God, help me! Slap their faces, First this cheek, then the other, Your fist hard in their teeth! Real help comes from God." Without God, these last two days would have consumed me. But instead I embrace them. I embrace Satan trying to find a way into my light. Because there is a fire burning inside me for my God. And no one, and nothing will ever stop me. God comes above all else. If he asked me know to give up everything I owned I would, because I know that he will provide. I keep reminding me these things everyday to continue this war Satan is waging with God. And I rebuke Satan, and every demon and everything he's trying to do in my life and others around me, and if your reading this, for you as well. Compared to God, Satan is nothing, not even a grain of sand. I was discouraged, but by some encouraging words from friends, and diving into His word and by shutting the world out, I'm okay. I was getting the hugs that I needed, just by worshiping in my bedroom. God, is so good.
As I was praying and worshiping I was reading Psalm. I had started from the beginning a couple of days ago, and last night I started over again. That's when He shared Psalm 3 with me, then He shared Psalm 5. I prayed for the lost, the suffering and those who are empty. I prayed that there would be a REVIVAL in God here in our city. A REVIVAL that will be heard world wide.
Just finished my Bible study, a day early. But, it was good. I've started another one and it's 366 days. And it's good. Today at the end it asks: What do you believe about right and wrong? PRAY: "God, I admit that sometimes I act like there's no such thing as right and wrong. But I don't want to do what's right in my own eyes; I want to do what's right in your eyes. Help me especially in the area of..."
At first I thought to myself and said I know the difference between right and wrong. But when I really got to thinking about it, there are times when I don't know which is right and which is wrong. Which is why we seek God. We have to seek God, so that He will tell us what's right, not what we think is right. I feel that in a lot of situations lately. Asking "God, what do I do?" or "what do you want me to do". Instead of assuming that what I'm doing is right. God has a certain path for all of us. I'm just trying to find mine.
As I was praying and worshiping I was reading Psalm. I had started from the beginning a couple of days ago, and last night I started over again. That's when He shared Psalm 3 with me, then He shared Psalm 5. I prayed for the lost, the suffering and those who are empty. I prayed that there would be a REVIVAL in God here in our city. A REVIVAL that will be heard world wide.
Just finished my Bible study, a day early. But, it was good. I've started another one and it's 366 days. And it's good. Today at the end it asks: What do you believe about right and wrong? PRAY: "God, I admit that sometimes I act like there's no such thing as right and wrong. But I don't want to do what's right in my own eyes; I want to do what's right in your eyes. Help me especially in the area of..."
At first I thought to myself and said I know the difference between right and wrong. But when I really got to thinking about it, there are times when I don't know which is right and which is wrong. Which is why we seek God. We have to seek God, so that He will tell us what's right, not what we think is right. I feel that in a lot of situations lately. Asking "God, what do I do?" or "what do you want me to do". Instead of assuming that what I'm doing is right. God has a certain path for all of us. I'm just trying to find mine.
No comments:
Post a Comment